Category Archives: Food

Whine Country

The tabloids make hay with stories about people having aneurysms about orders-gone-wrong at McDonald’s or Sonic or the Bombastic Bacon Barn. However, such behavior is not restricted to a particular class. Evidence? Some Business Class passengers (Chris Lehmann would call them Predator Class) on a Garuda Indonesia flight out of Sydney broadcast their apoplexy when informed by the flight attendants that they had no more wine to give, though they did have handwritten menus to distribute. The latter were not perceived as a bespoke touch.

Paul and Christian, who do not give their last names, state that “the wine ran out. . . You come on a flight like this, business class, you expect nice wine.”

photo of passengers aboard a flight from 1936

Imperial Airlines flight (1936)


The Gift of Samantha Irby

Ms. Irby is not out to be Margaret Atwood or Alice Walker or Virginia Woolf or a figure adulated by reviewers of the Times Literary Supplement. Ms. Irby can do things with words. Some samples below. It’s her doing that she doesn’t capitalize things:

if you’re going to be an asshole, why not just go full asshole and say what you mean, scorch the earth completely, then go on about your life.

[About dinner invitations:] you know the wild thing about this is that they probably f-ing hate you, too. they’re probably sitting home RIGHT NOW groaning over where to put your ungrateful asses in the seating chart this year and sighing at all your peanut and gluten sensitivities they have to consider while making the grocery list. no one ever wants to do anything, especially if it requires a lot of work, especially especially if it requires coordinating with a whole ass other family. so give that long-suffering family the only thing anyone truly wants: the gift of your absence. via text. because no one likes talking on the phone.

don’t get me wrong, nothing is worse than a man with too many opinions but a man with too many opinions about books is somewhat tolerable, because at least he’s reading, so hopefully he’s absorbed some facts.

[About Lifetime’s “You” series:] everyone is so pretentious and talking about writing colonies and throwing literary-themed parties. all my writer friends are hilarious morons (even the famous ones!) and they write in unmade beds in their underwear while shoveling refined sugar into their faces and crying, not in the sun-dappled corners of their picturesque apartments while sipping coconut milk cortados and tapping earnestly away at a vintage typewriter.

photo of Samantha Irby


Mondays Are Murder Contribution



Prestigious Institutions where Education is second to Revenue

You’re not there to get an education, though they tell you that. You’re there to make revenue for the college. You’re there to put fans in the seats. You’re there to bring prestige to the university by winning games.
— ¬†Rashad McCants, former UNC – Chapel¬†Hill basketball player

Yes, “they” will tell you that. “They” are the people at universities who will not acknowledge the truth that revenue drives decisions, not whether students receive an education. ¬†I do not know where on the list education is, but it is unlikely in the top four or five. Prestige, as in the film by that title, is a magic show. ¬†You think you are seeing education at public universities, but it’s a trick, sleight of hand, maybe mirrors, illusion. Prestige is like “The Mansion” section of The Wall Street Journal, where people define themselves, their success, by whether they have a private plane in their garage instead of a car. It looks like a tangible thing. Others see it. “They” tell you owning a private jet means you’ve made it. ¬†They say you’re winning the game of life, as if the sayings of Charlie Sheen were part of a philosophical guidebook.

Eton College

Eton College

In Louie C.K.’s television show, he has written a scene between himself and his daughter. It’s a scene you won’t find mentioned in The Wall Street Journal or quoted by a public university president or chancellor.

Daughter (D): Why does she get one and not me? It’s not fair.

Louis (L): You’re never gonna get the same things as other people. It’s never gonna be equal. It’s not gonna happen ever in your life, so you must learn that now, okay?
Listen — the only time you should look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don’t look in your neighbor’s bowl to see if you have as much as them.

Bad News for the Holidays

There is no such thing as healthy obesity.

Science ruins the holidays again.  See this New York Times article.

The Power of Non-Smoking Guns

Sarah Palin holding Big GulpIn discussing the psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan and Slavoj¬†ŇĹiŇĺek with others, it is often difficult to convey what each of these figures means by the real, since the real does not exist. The real is not to be confused with what most of us would call reality — see how the confusion begins? Sometimes it helps to come at the topic from a different angle. Today’s angle: fast food. We can imagine that many people, if asked, would confess that fast food puts us on the fast track to illness and other problems, problems food and beverage manufacturers build into their products. The manufacturers used to go to great lengths to keep that fact hidden.

Like the executives of tobacco companies, some of the food and beverage manufacturers have realized that non-hidden-ness can function as successfully as hiding the facts/toxins. Literary people have known this since Poe’s “The Purloined Letter.” People tend not to see what is right in front of them. It’s frequently the best place to hide things. Jeffrey Dunn, former Coca-Cola executive sums it up: “It’s not like there’s a smoking gun. The gun is right there. It’s not hidden.” Some fast foodies take their knowledge of self-destructiveness as a badge of honor by proclaiming things like, “At least I know what’s killing me,” demonstrating that empowering knowledge = a deeper level of denial, or non-seeing. “I see that I do not see, so stop trying to make me see.” This is the starting place of almost all education. What happens after that is a version of the story of Anne Sullivan.

“People seldom see the halting and painful steps by which the most insignificant success is achieved.”
— Anne Sullivan

Bad Chemistry on Radiolab

Radiolab has been a source of fascinating information about all sort of topics over the years, and many people have noticed that the workers at Radiolab understand and appreciate the medium of radio in their presentations. In the spirit of Orson Welles, they experiment with sound, even if sometimes in decibel ranges that hurt my ears. Pathei mathos.  The show has received praise from numerous quarters, and one of its hosts, Jad Abumrad, won a MacArthur award recently.

Clara Immerwahr

During a broadcast about the chemist Fritz Haber, a scientist devoted to his Fatherland and enthralled by his own ambition, one of the hosts decided to pass moral judgment on Mr. Haber. ¬†That judgment calls for questioning. To begin to appreciate the radical nature of the judgment, you might need what Hollywood types call the backstory, at least a bit of it, without mentioning Zyklon gas, another part of the Haber mess. According to Radiolab’s own tale, Haber himself put together a group of soldiers during World War I, and traveled with them to Belgium to experiment with chlorine gas against French, British, and Canadian troops. ¬†With forethought, Haber and his men waited for the right conditions to release the gas on troops confronting the German forces, though using the gas was opposed by several commanders in the German military who believed that Haber’s experiment was a violation of basic human decency in time of war. ¬†You can listen to the Radiolab podcast for a vivid description of the effects of the gas on human beings and on nature.

Upon Haber’s return to Germany after this incident, Haber found himself in an argument with Clara Immerwahr, his wife. She had heard about what he had done and was deeply disturbed. Her last name means roughly “always true (“Wahrheit” in German is truth). In short, the Cassandra story was staring Haber in the face, but he could not see it, nor could the Radiolab hosts in their retelling. ¬†As a scientist herself, Immerwahr knew that her husband had transgressed. ¬†She ended up shooting herself, though Haber, according to the accounts at the time, considered Clara’s interpretation of his actions to be utterly mistaken. Like the deluded Haber, one of the hosts of Radiolab decided to intervene at this point in the broadcast to provide a sterile, chilling, utilitarian arithmetic to Haber’s actions (the judgment mentioned above). In abstracted form, the ethical “thinking” inserted into the broadcast goes like this: If person X murders 2 people, but escorts 3 elderly women across the street and prevents the women from being hit by a bus, those actions combined (murdering and escorting) result in a positive integer. ¬†One extra person lived as a result of X’s actions in those two situations, and that is what makes X a good human being.

I could not believe my ears. Two intelligent people, the hosts of Radiolab, contrary to Clara Immerwahr’s model behavior that ought to have made an impression on them, discussed blithely a formula for ethics as simplistic as the one described above, and one of the hosts concluded that Haber was a good person, because prior to World War I Haber had invented a process involving nitrogen that allowed the world to provide food to its expanding population. ¬†The projected millions of human lives saved by nitrogen fertilizer were set against the hundreds (the exact figure was not given on the Radiolab broadcast, if my memory is correct) of soldiers and other creatures killed by Haber’s chlorine gas, and since millions happen to be larger than hundreds, you can figure out without resorting to a calculator what your ethical position on Mr. Haber ought to be.

I stopped listening to the broadcast after that, and began wishing that I had known Clara Immerwahr.